Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Who Is Your Best Friend?

I’ve been fighting depression for six years. I’ve learned that I will never beat the evils of depression but now have a friend to talk with which keeps me emotionally well. Now when i feels depressed, i knows what to do. "I need to talk to someone. I can't sit back, because I get really sick."I learned healthier ways to deal with my feelings. "I need to take a deep breath if I'm about to lash out at someone, or I'm not going to like the result."Erin also takes medicine now, though sometimes she doesn't want to. But she does want to stay healthy and reach her goals. I'm in a band, so I could be a musician," she says. "In school I work with handicapped children, so I'd like to work with handicapped children if I'm not a musician." Erin has a message for others living with feelings of depression. Getting help is a must, You could end up having really bad things happen."People feel depressed for many reasons. If you feel depressed, please tell someone you trust. Talking about your feelings is a sign of strength. Emotions
When my best friend joined a gang, I had no support anymore. I was really down. I had so much stuff inside me – anger and pain – I never talked about. I didn’t have anyone to talk to. I used to put my feelings in a box and not open up to nobody. I was silent. For a long time I ran away from my feelings, and that’s a bad thing.One of the toughest things is you think emotions have to be kept inside. You don't cry for no one, you know. It's tough. You have to play this role. It holds you back from being totally yourself. When I was sad, I would sit alone in my room and cry. I refused to show anyone I had emotion. I wouldn't let anyone into my heart. The most important thing when something is on your mind or eating at you is to talk with somebody. Talk to someone who’s a mentor, someone older and more experienced, so they can give you good advice. You know It's just unhealthy to keep all those feelings inside of you, male or female. If you play a sport, talk to your coach if you feel comfortable. Or talk to someone in your church, a leader of a youth group, or a parent. They may be the most experienced people. I know that I have good friends now because they let me be upset when I'm upset. They let me cry if I need to cry. They let me get out whatever I have inside. When you talk to somebody and let it out, it’s kind of a sigh of relief, and you can kind of put it into the hands of someone else. That feels really good. In anyone’s life there is always someone to go to. Once you find that person, you’ll know that you have the largest shoulder to lean on that you could ever believe. It does feel good. When I’ve talked about something that’s bothering me, I feel free. I'm not hiding anymore. I can put my head up, you know?
Real friends help each other through good and bad times, and learn to be loyal. Katti, Orondé and Wendy talk about their friendships. They know which qualities to look for. To me, it's so important to have good friends. But it's not the amount of friends I have. Not popularity. What's important is that you can really talk to someone, and they can really be there for you. You can think what the other one is thinking. We can understand, because we know each other. I can tell when there's something wrong just by looking at his face. Likewise he can do to me. Especially in groups. Everything I said came out wrong. Other kids laughed or talked about me when I could hear them. They made fun of how my body jerked when I got excited. I couldn’t help it. My body just did that because of the way my brain worked. It made me do things that looked weird. It hurt when people made fun of me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make myself be like other kids.”
A couple of older boy in my school were nice to me, “They accepted me and showed me it was ok to be poor. It can really help to talk to a teacher, parent, or another adult you trust about how you are feeling. but I always had a best friend at home, When no one else understood me, she was there to love me. She never judged me for being different, and she was always waiting for me when I’d had a bad day. Lyn
I deal with stress I’ll just really try to talk it out or write it down. I can understand when a person have problems and they want to drink, but I think it would be better for them to find another way to deal with their problems because its like, It’s still gonna be there in reality you’re really not escaping from it, you’re just adding to your problems. Communication is huge, especially between a parent and a kid. I found that's why I probably didn't go to like, drugs and drinking. Because I had my parents to go to. They helped me. They talked to me. They helped clear my mind. I didn't have to keep it inside. I just talked with them, and it made me feel good.
I was in junior class when my friend told me her story, she said “One day when I was supposed to meet him in between classes I was a few minutes late. He asked me where I was. I said went to my locker and to the ladies room. And he said, “I really worried about you and I wish that you had told me.” Then he backhanded me across the face. I thought, “What did I do to deserve that?” He promised he would never do it again. He said his father had done that to his mother and he didn’t want to be like him. He said, “Please, Kris, forgive me.” And I did. A lot of people knew I came to school with bruises. They didn’t want to get involved.I was afraid of what he would do if I left because he threatened me. So, I stayed with him. A lot of people would say, “Why don’t you just leave?” But you don’t know how it feels to be afraid of someone. He had threatened to murder me and that scared me so much. I wanted to go to college and I always wanted to have kids and get married someday. I knew I had to do something. I told someone in my family. Everyone was great. We went to family counseling with all of my sisters. I was so embarrassed. At that age you just think that’s so un-cool to go to family counseling. But it was the best thing I ever did. I got to express everything and tell stories that I hid for so long.With time and counseling, and support from my family and friends, I got stronger. My family is still supportive of me. That was her story so If someone says that they are going to change, don’t try to be a counselor. Encourage them to get help. But don’t stand by them the whole time they say they are going to change. Tell their parents. Tell somebody in the school. Don’t take the road I did and wait so long to ask for help. I realized fights didn't solve anything. I put myself into a deeper hole. I realized fights didn't change anything. Nothing got better. My experience was to survive, to be mean, not to negotiate. "Talk is cheap. Go fight." It was the wrong crowd that made me go down the wrong path. Now I stay away from them.

Your real friend will accept you for who you are. No matter what mistakes you make, they'll still love you. We could give each other hugs and say: “We've made some mistakes, made some bad ones, but I’m still there for you.” I want my friends’ honest opinions, objections, anything they think they can say to help me, if it's for my betterment. One of my best friends right now is a guy. What makes him so close is we have the same values. We feel the same way about so many things. I can talk to him. He can talk to me. The way he thinks, the way he is, just makes me want to be his friend. It's really important to have that one person to talk to, because they know you well. You could make one gesture, and they know what the heck you're talking about. You have to be comfortable with them in silence as well as out loud. Sometimes in certain situations, I get so depressed I can't talk. So it's good to have a friend to just sit and hold your hand.


Cidersweet said...

I SO feel you!


too true!

uche said...

Thanks all. God Bless

Emy said...

I have friends I have had for close to 15 years and I must say they are true friends indeed!!